Today we have started something new and we're pretty serious about it. Me, as allways, very ambitious. I don know if being ambitious makes it automaticly vulnerable. But this far i know that every dissappointement will hurt, and no discounts... It's obvious that the first day was never supposed to be the most productive, it was supposed to be like trying to wake up a sleeping dog by poking it with a thin stick. Nevertheless, the ambitious/vulnerable me is easy to hunt down by one small dissappointement... But hey, there were fireworks.
I have noticed that meeting talented people makes me feel toungless and handless, while meeting talented people without speaking theyre language adds to all this eyeless. Deep down there jelousy takes part, but it's not only jelousy i am sure. I have a vision, and without being able to get that vision out to the real world every unsuccessfull try makes the next one harder. But it wouldnt be me if i ever let my hands down, right?
I tell myself to keep it as positive as i can, i mean it has to work out, it has to become what i want, there is no other possibility.
And hey, there really were fireworks damn it! It's got to be a good sign!
